Bad choices make good stories
'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'
'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'
Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.
long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about
i just burnt my tongue on my food and it made me realise that sometimes the ones you love hurt you the most